Today’s Reading: Jacob 4:7-10
10 Wherefore, brethren, seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. For behold, ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works.
As a youth in the Young Women program, I dreamed of living the perfect “happily ever after.” To accomplish this I wrote a list of virtues I wanted in my future spouse and worked hard to become the kind of girl my dream boat would want to marry. Imagine my delight when I met a young man that fit EVERY qualification perfectly. We began dating and became engaged just before Christmas, all according to my perfect plan. After all, I heard Bruce R. McConkie felt the same way. He made his list and “never in [his] life did [he] ever ask the Lord whom [he] ought to marry.”[i] I felt completely justified in choosing my spouse the same way.
Elder McConkie actually spends his entire talk shooting down his own approach to finding a “happily ever after.” Instead, he emphasizes 18 times in his talk the importance of counseling with the Lord and acknowledges: “Now, if I’d done things perfectly, I’d have done some counseling with the Lord, which I didn’t do.”[ii] Unfortunately, I didn’t know about the rest of the talk back in 1996; we didn’t have Google. Therefore, I never bothered to even pray about my marriage decision because he was…well…perfect.
Finally, some events took place that made me stop and really seek counsel from the Lord about my choice. I could feel the heavens rush with gratitude that I finally asked with a determination to obey perfectly instead. I could feel his “wisdom, justice and great mercy” when I felt strongly about breaking off our engagement. I knew it wasn’t because we were terribly wrong for each other, but because there was someone out there who was just more right for both of us.
I needed that spiritual determination when I began dating my future husband nearly a year later. At every juncture in our relationship I counseled with the Lord and always felt a profound peace. We have shared a beautiful life based on hard work and “[taking] counsel from his hand.” Events in our lives, from adopting to supporting me while attending law school, have proven Michael Harris was that someone more right for me. As for my fiancée…he married before I did, to a beautiful girl who, I bet, was more right for him too.
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf promises all of us:
“the day will come when you turn the final pages of your own glorious story; there you will read and experience the fulfillment of those blessed and wonderful words: “And they lived happily ever after.”” [iv]
I have come to realize that doing things perfectly doesn’t mean writing lists and making the perfect “happily ever after” happen. Instead, doing things perfectly means writing dreams, counseling with the Lord, working hard, and humbly asking for his “happily ever after” to happen.
I was born and raised in Alberta, Canada and California and promised every childhood friend I would never raise my family in Utah…until I fell in love with the most amazing fourth generation Orem boy. Now we are raising our kids in the house he grew up in and we love it. I am an estate planning attorney and marriage educator but I really want to be better at those half-baked talents like speaking Spanish, playing the piano, and making dinner every night! Read more about me at mormon.org