You know those days where it feels like you have a big rain cloud over your head and there’s no sunshine to be found? I was having one of those days last week. Life can be so dang hard at times! People let us down, plans fall through and trials come. When these trials come, it can be hard to see the good around us. The cold, gloomy January weather wasn’t helping me either!
After a lot of “wo is me” moments, I decided to go to the temple with my ward to find some much needed peace. As I was heading into the temple, a friend approached me and asked me if I was okay. I simply said, “I need the temple tonight.” But as I dressed and headed into the chapel, I still didn’t feel any better. I was still healing from a hard break up and I felt envious of all the couples around me. Even though I was there with other singles, I didn’t feel like I fit in with them. I felt lost and alone and began to pray for some comfort.
When the comfort still didn’t come I prayed harder. I thought that maybe I was praying for the wrong thing! In desperation, I asked Heavenly Father to help me know what I needed and how I could find comfort. Tears filled my eyes as I poured out my frustrations to Him. As another group headed into their session, a temple worker escorted my group to the front of the chapel. As I sat down and dried my eyes, a guy from my ward took a seat next to me and smiled at me. He complimented me on my new hair color and chatted me for a bit. It was a simple gesture but it meant a lot to me at the time. It was good to be noticed and to feel welcome.
Feeling a little better, I decided to open up the scriptures and start reading. I realized that I forgot to to do my scripture study that morning and it may have contributed to my bad attitude. I felt prompted to turn to Hebrews chapter 10. Verses 35-36 are some of my favorites and I’ve read them many times. But this time, they hit me in a new way.
“Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense for reward. For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.”
The phrase “your confidence” stuck out to me. Confidence was something I had been thinking about a lot and I thought I knew what it meant. In the past year I have grown in confidence by coming out of my shell and developing new talents and friendships. I have a better understanding of what I want in life and for a while I was feeling pretty good. 🙂 However, it’s easy to be confident when things are going really well. But what about when things aren’t going well? Can you have confidence when trials and uncertainties come? I have learned that you can.
Confidence isn’t about thinking that everything will go smoothly; confidence is about remaining hopeful through the rough times. Confidence and patience go hand in hand and both of them lead to hope. Hope leads us to faith. The best refuge for hope and faith is found in our Savior, Jesus Christ. Under the Bible dictionary definition of faith it reads:
“To have faith is to have confidence in something or someone. The Lord has revealed Himself and His perfect character, possessing in their fullness all the attributes of love, knowledge, justice, mercy, unchangeableness, power and every other needful thing, so as to enable the mind of man to place confidence in Him without reservation.”
As I pondered all these things that night in the temple, I felt grateful for my Savior. Sometimes when I strive to follow His will He asks me to do hard things and I don’t always see the reasons for them. I realized that what I view as trials may actually be the Lord’s way of directing me to something better. As I place confidence in the Lord by following His will, he has promised that I will be rewarded! Because of His perfect character, I can have full confidence that He knows what He’d doing.
The rest of the night, I was calm and at peace. I’ve still had bad days since then but as I remember that promise in Hebrews 10, I am reminded of the good things in store for me. I am so grateful for the gospel, for temples and for my Savior, Jesus Christ. He is truly my refuge during the storms of life and I hope that my confidence in Him will continue to grow. <3