Book of Mormon: Day 275: When There’s No Light

Today’s Reading: 3 Nephi 8:22

22 And there was not any light seen, neither fire, nor glimmer, neither the sun, nor the moon, nor the stars, for so great were the mists of darkness which were upon the face of the land.

I found myself on my knees in desperation recently.  “What can I do more?  I have no idea.  I am trying to do everything asked of me and more.”  And I was.  Praying always?  Check.  Scripture study?  Check.  Temple attendance?  Check.  Frequent fasting?  Check.  Taking on hard things commanded of me?  Check. etc.

I was experiencing a sort of spiritual “fog,” as I call it.  Some overwhelming things had happened, and they left my spirit a bit broken.  It seemed as if the light I had enjoyed had a soft blanket over it.  I could feel the spirit, but it was not as bright and beautiful as it had been.  I lacked clarity, and couldn’t receive revelation as I had been used to.  Nothing that I did cleared the fog.  Nothing.

Then Sunday happened.  I found myself on my knees, wondering what I really wanted from General Conference.  Contemplating the desires of my heart, I knew that I wanted to again experience light as I had known it.  I had ached for the return of light with intensity.

So, I asked.

My simple prayer sounded something like this, “Please, will you remove this fog from my spirit.”

And He did.

Instantly and miraculously, my cloud covered glasses were removed and my spirit could again see 20/ 20.  With clarity, I could again understand revelation.  The light in me was no longer dampened.

Eventually, the darkness was dispelled for the Nephites as well.  The common thread of light for both me and the Nephites is this: Jesus Christ.  He is the light and the life of the world.  He can dispel any darkness in any circumstance.

It seems I had forgotten a key factor:  I can’t just work my way to Heaven.  No check list will qualify me for exaltation.  It takes a Savior, and it takes His grace.  Why didn’t I just ask Him to begin with?  I was in His hands all along.

Jeni Brockbank

Jeni Brockbank and her husband Bart are parents to 6 amazing children. She finds great joy in being a wife and mother and feels that both callings are sacred privileges. Jeni is a continual student of the scriptures and loves to share her testimony with anyone who will listen. She teaches choir, is crafty and is grateful on a daily basis to live a few blocks from the Brigham City, UT temple.