I hate when people say that Mary is a better and more spiritual woman than Martha. I simply don’t find that true. I do believe that each were used as specific teaching examples for Christ, but Martha was trying her very best to be the best she could be as well. Martha showed us how to be a Proverbs 31 woman, something admirable to strive towards, and Mary showed us how to have the Gospel in our hearts continually.

Proverbs 31 Woman

There are so many online ministries and blogs devoted to helping women become a Proverbs 31 woman. (If you haven’t read that chapter before, I suggest you do so very quickly.) I mean, “her price is far above rubies” (Pro 31:10). This is the goal of many religious #girlbosses — productive, intentional, honorable, self-preserving, self-relying, smart, industrious, and “Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her” (Pro 31: 28).

Not only does this chapter in the Old Testament affect many the way many Christian women choose to live today, but also Old Testament and New Testament women. Hospitality was a virtue in Jewish society, and the women were in charge of the hospitality. So, Martha was doing exactly as she needed to be a Proverbs 31 woman for Christ. She was taking care of His temporal needs and serving Him.

As women and mothers today, we are care not only for ourselves, but our entire families. Often, we are the glue that holds everything together. And, we are honored on Mother’s Day…as well as the many talks given about motherhood and women in the church during the October 2015 General Conference. But, we also strive to do our best in our church callings. I remember a scene from The R.M. movie: during the 3rd hour of church, the men in Priesthood were in a blank, bare room, lounging in chairs, trying not to fall asleep, and reading from the manual. However, the Relief Society was bright and inviting, with music, doilies, object lessons, and takeaways. We all know women who go above and beyond in their callings at church. We also know women who love to serve others in the ward–bringing dinners and babysitting for free.

However, there is a downfall to focusing primarily on being a Proverbs 31 woman. No where in that chapter does it mention how spiritual the woman is. No where in the chapter does it mention how she brings Christ closer to her. In a recent Liahona magazine article, author Starla Awerkamp Butler said:

Like Martha, sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that the primary role of women is to offer temporal service, such as providing meals, sewing, and cleaning for others. This service is a valuable and cherished sacrifice; however, even more than He needs sisters who can sew and cook, the Lord needs women of spiritual power whose faith, righteousness, and charity shine through in their lives. He knows that we each have so much to offer. Jesus Christ calls all of us to develop our spiritual strength and ability to receive and act on revelation to help move His work forward.

We need to be a Martha, a Proverbs 31 woman, to help this Church, and our families, and the world run, but we need to be more than just a Martha. We need to be a Mary as well, we need to live the heart of the Gospel.

 

Living the Heart of the Gospel

In the Old Testament, the Hebrews and all of Israel strived to live the letter of the law–the Mosaic law. But, when Christ came, He fulfilled the Mosaic Law and created the Higher Law–the spirit of the law. We should constantly be striving to include Christ in our home, hearts, minds, and souls with us everyday everywhere. We need to allow Christ to envelop and embody us. To do that, we need to be actively searching out the Light of Christ constantly:

We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things. (13th Article of Faith, emphasis added)

When Martha was busy preparing, Mary was sitting at the Lord’s feet, listening to Him preach and teach. She sought out the Light and allowed it to become her priority. The prophets and general authorities this year have urged us to make the Sabbath Day more poignant. They have challenged us to read our scriptures daily, to search, ponder, and pray. To be active in Church. To share the Gospel. We are not a one day a week religion.

I don’t want to make it seem like Mary is better than Martha, because I hate the tendency to do so. What Martha was doing was admirable. That is why the Savior didn’t tell her to sit down as well–He just said to allow Mary to continue to sit and listen. Christ was appreciative of Martha’s work and dedication. But, sometimes in trying to be a Proverbs 31 woman, we tend to play the “oh woe is me” and “I’m so busy” game. When we start complaining and comparing how much we have done for others, then we fail being a Proverbs 31 woman. I imagine that Mary had originally been helping Martha, as that is the proper role for Hebrew women, and that Christ was teaching Lazarus and whatever other men happened to be over for the meal. When Mary heard, she became distracted and eventually left all her duties to listen at His feet (my own imagination, not actual doctrine). Elaine Cannon, the Associate Editor for the New Era in 1971 said:

Mary wasn’t cumbered with much serving (so as to give a good impression of herself to the Savior!). She listened responsively and wisely, at his feet. Some women wear motherhood, wifehood, servicehood like a red flag draped about their shoulders in a martyr’s guise. They are cumbered with much serving. Others prepare and play their part with happiness and grace, following the word of the Savior and conforming their lives to his teachings. There is balance in their pursuits.

This is the case for Mary. This is the ideal for woman.

When we begin to complain, we lose the grace and honor of righteous womanhood. Mary realized what she should do, and found an even better thing to do. It’s really all about prioritizing. There is a time and a place to be a Proverbs 31 woman, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of our spiritual growth. Too often have I said, “After all the chores are done, dinner is made, babies are taken care of and loved, and calling is fulfilled, then I will read my scriptures.” And too often have I been too tired to do so.  Butler has also said:

Like Martha, sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that the primary role of women is to offer temporal service, such as providing meals, sewing, and cleaning for others. This service is a valuable and cherished sacrifice; however, even more than He needs sisters who can sew and cook, the Lord needs women of spiritual power whose faith, righteousness, and charity shine through in their lives. He knows that we each have so much to offer. Jesus Christ calls all of us to develop our spiritual strength and ability to receive and act on revelation to help move His work forward. Linda K. Burton, Relief Society general president, said to the sisters, “You have been sent to earth in this dispensation of time because of who you are and what you have been prepared to do! Regardless of what Satan would try to persuade us to think about who we are, our true identity is that of a disciple of Jesus Christ!” (The Spiritual Influence of Women)

But, when I wake up early to intentionally study my scripture before my baby boy wakes up, then I find that everything else falls into place. I feel closer to my son and my Savior, I’m able to be more grateful and see His works in my daily life more easily, and I feel more productive! It’s all about prioritizing and balance.

Being a #girlboss is good, being a Proverbs 31 woman is better, and living the heart of the Gospel is best.