Book of Mormon: Day 218: The mysteries before us

Today’s Reading:  Alma 40: 1 – 13

3 Behold, he bringeth to pass the resurrection of the dead. But behold, my son, the resurrection is not yet. Now, I unfold unto you a mystery; nevertheless, there are many mysteries which are kept, that no one knoweth them save God himself. But I show unto you one thing which I have inquired diligently of God that I might know—that is concerning the resurrection.

Bruce R. McKonkie defined mystery, in the gospel sense, as something beyond carnal comprehension. The Mysteries of God, which are often referred to as Spiritual Truths are not something that are meant to be learned at a secular level. Rather, spiritual truths, are meant to be learned from God and confirmed to us through the Holy Ghost.

The road to this sure knowledge is a sincere and honest desire to obtain truth from God, seeking such truth through sustained prayer, through devoted study of God’s scriptures, and through righteous, charitable behavior in our daily lives. – President Marion G. Romney

My three-year-old is adorable.  He truly has the most lovable face and eyes that make your heart melt.  But he is three.  He is emotional, irrational and a ball full of never ending energy.  Plus, he is smart at reading situations and knows what behavior to expect from me in certain situations.  We butt heads, often.  We spend all day together, which I love, but we can push one another’s buttons at exactly the right (or wrong) time.  My three-yr-old is me, 30 years later.

Admittedly, I don’t always handle the irrationality and emotions in the best way possible.  I’ve lost my cool.  I have acted in my own irrational ways and modeled behavior that I don’t love.  There is nothing more humbling that seeing a child reenact your bad behavior.

So, a learning Mom I turned to books, doctors and experts.  I read about how to change my actions and reactions.  I learned how to make him feel more in control of his situations and how help him accept and acknowledge his feelings.  I did my homework. I put in time and I had high hopes for a grand result.  Almost daily, often times more, the tantrums would come.  I would try my learned tactics and sometimes they would work, but I found myself more often than not reverting back to old behavior.

One night, after a particularly hard day, I found myself sad wishing I could take back all the actions that transpired.  I had yelled.  I hadn’t respected his feelings and to add to the heart ache – when I apologized he admitted that I had “really hurt his feelings”. I couldn’t forget his little voice telling me I had made him sad and I couldn’t shake the guilty feeling in my gut begging me to do better.  I prayed, {read: pleaded}, that night for help to be a better mother.

At 3am I woke up suddenly with a sick feeling in my stomach.  As I sat up in bed and sipped some water I prayed again.  I felt a distinct impression.  

You need to listen to me.  Please listen to me.

These are sentences I say over and over to my son on a daily basis.  I am constantly reminding him to listen. But who was I listening to?  In that moment my mind shot back to a few instances where I had been in the heat of a 3-yr-old debate and had felt prompted to change my course.  Rather than listen I dug in my heels and stood my ground.  Ultimately leaving me feel horrible once the situation had diffused.

I needed to listen.  Please, just listen.

We need such inspired knowledge as we live our lives, as we seek to find God and apply his teachings, as we seek to find marriage partners, as we perform our responsibilities of parenthood, as we help others around us learn gospel truth and find God for themselves, as we seek understanding from scripture, as we implement the counsel of present-day prophets, as we contemplate the signal time in this last dispensation in which we live, and as we seek to endure faithfully to the end. In all these and many more matters—indeed, in all aspects of our lives—we need guidance and knowledge from the Sure Source. – President Marion G. Romney

This truth, the ability and reminder to listen, helped me the very next day and numerous days since.  Children are a true mystery.  Secular learning is helpful and can give us great insight.  The skills I learned through study made me more knowledgeable and aware of why certain behaviors happen.  They also helped me understand that I wasn’t alone and that others had trodden this path before me.

The secular learning coupled with truths and reminders from the Spirit helped God teach me how to best serve my family at this time.  Until tomorrow, when the mysteries begin again.