Book of Mormon: Day 171: Blessings We Lack

Today’s Reading: Alma 9:25-10:1-13

5 Nevertheless, after all this, I never have known much of the ways of the Lord, and his mysteries and marvelous power. I said I never had known much of these things; but behold, I mistake, for I have seen much of his mysteries and his marvelous power; yea, even in the preservation of the lives of this people.

Do you sometimes focus on the blessings you lack, rather than the blessings you have? I admit I get into that habit at times. A few years back, President Uchtdorf told a memorable story [i] about a woman who wanted nothing more than to be married and have children. Although her desires were righteous, they were never fulfilled. As a result, this woman developed a sort of tunnel vision–focusing only on what she lacked while minimizing the beauty of the glorious blessings God bestowed upon her. She did have children to teach, nurture, and love–she was an elementary school teacher! But instead of channeling her desires into enriching their lives, she let her students be a reminder of what she didn’t have. She became bitter and angry instead of grateful and fruitful.

I believe we are all in the same position as this woman–we won’t get everything we want in this life. But at the same time, we are bountifully blessed! Both blessings and trials are ever-present but we get to choose what we focus on.

Like this woman, my dream has been marriage and children. I’ve been blessed with both, so I really shouldn’t complain! But when it comes to motherhood, I may have envisioned the life of Mary Poppins–practically perfect in every way. Unfortunately though, there’s a stark contrast between that dream and my reality. I thought that fulfillment in Motherhood would flow as naturally as honey from a beehive. Instead I feel like a beekeeper who mistakenly thinks she can train the bees! And I tell ya–my identity as a mother gets stung every day! Could this make me bitter? Um. . .ya! I’ve looked forward to motherhood my whole life! And (as I’ve mentioned in a previous post) I tried hard to prepare myself for this God-given role.

Sometimes, when my preschooler is being defiant and my toddler is having her 18th daily tantrum, I’m tempted to be bitter. I’m tempted to declare like Amulek “I never have known much of the ways of the Lord, and his mysteries and marvelous power” (in other words, “I haven’t been blessed the way I wanted to be!”) But then I just need to step back, maybe give myself a time-out and tell myself “but behold, I mistake, for I have seen much of his mysteries and his marvelous power”. I am a Mother! And that is a blessing, no matter how hard. And I have special moments with my children every day! When I focus on how funny, smart, and beautiful they are, I don’t know who to pinch–myself to see if I’m dreaming, or them to see if they’re real!  

And the other half of my dream (marriage) is . . .phenomenal!  I live with my best friend–a patient, righteous, selfless man! I’m married to my eternal boyfriend, a man I look forward to going on vacations with, dates with, spending hum-drum time with, daydreaming about, and welcoming home at the end of the day. I literally don’t think I could have found a better match for me! So rather than letting my trials rain on my parade, I can remember the sunshine in my life, which makes me happy when skies are grey 🙂 I think we can all take President Uchtdorf’s advice to heart:

There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it [ii].

Courtney Parker

After growing up in the bitter cold of Alberta Canada and serving a mission in the scalding heat of Tucson Arizona, I finally settled for the “moderate” climate of Utah. I met my best friend and love of my life at BYU where I received my degree in Marriage and Family Studies. I stay at home with my two little girls, teach marriage classes with my husband, and run an alumni Facebook group. I love to write, bake, travel, teach, and feast upon the words of Christ, but my favorite happy thought of all is going on weekly dates with my husband!