Book of Mormon: Day 159: The Hand of the Lord

Today’s Reading:  Alma 2:16-3:5

30 And it came to pass that Alma, being a man of God, being exercised with much faith, cried, saying: O Lord, have mercy and spare my life, that I may be an instrument in thy hands to save and preserve this people.

August 19, 2011

A date that is burned into my memory.  That was the day that I began one of the hardest battles of my life.  It was the day that I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer.  My initial reaction was one of shock and disbelief.  How could a healthy young mother of 4, who had no family history, be diagnosed with breast cancer?  There had to be some mistake.  The odds of me getting cancer were extremely low and quite frankly, I was too busy for cancer in my life.  I was completely irritated that this savage beast had wormed its way into my hectic life.

And so my journey began.  It had a gazillion twists and turns and at times, left me with only my testimony to stand on.  There were times when physically, I could not stand on my own two feet.  I was spent and didn’t know how I was ever going to make it to the finish line.  There were many moments spent on my knees, begging Heavenly Father to help me make it through another day with my kiddos.

In reading this block of scriptures, I have made some comparisons between my journey and this time in the Nephites’ lives.  They were in a battle for their lives and they were greatly outnumbered.  At first, they were contending only with the Amlicites, but “the Lord did strengthen” [v. 18] their hands and they were able to defeat the enemy.  They pursued the Amlicites until they ran out of strength and had to rest.  While they were resting, Alma sent spies to follow the rest of the Amlicites so that they could find out what their plans were.  What they found left them “greatly astonished [v. 23].  They found that the Lamanites had joined forces with the Amlicites and they were greatly outnumbered.

Nevertheless, the Nephites being strengthened by the hand of the Lord, having prayed mightily to him that he would deliver them out of the hands of their enemies, therefore, the Lord did hear their cries, and did strengthen them, and the Lamanites and the Amlicites did fall before them. -Alma 2:28

I, too, was in a battle for my life.  My enemy seemed to be getting larger with each passing day and I was unsure of how I would ever defeat it.  I felt greatly outnumbered and the task at hand seemed too hard.  There were many moments of despair.  Nevertheless, I was strengthened by the hand of the Lord.  I prayed mightily to him and begged him to help me defeat my enemy.

The battle between the Nephites and the Amlicites came to a head and Alma was faced with his greatest enemy, Amlici [v. 29].  At this point, Alma had two choices.  He could rely on his own strength and hope for the best, or he could turn to the Lord for strength, knowing that whatever the Lord had in store for him would be what was best.

And it came to pass that Alma, being a man of God, being exercised with much faith, cried, saying:  O Lord, have mercy and spare my life, that I may be an instrument in thy hands to save and preserve this people.  Now when Alma had said these words he contended again with Amlici; and he was strengthened, insomuch that he slew Amlici with the sword. -Alma 2:30-31

I found myself in a position similar to Alma’s.  My battle had come to a head and I had two choices…I could rely on my own strength or I could turn to the Lord.  When I was a young girl, I had made the choice to follow Jesus Christ, no matter what came my way.  I have had to rely on that choice many times throughout my life, but this battle was the one that truly put that choice to the test.  Would I blame God for my situation and become angry at what was happening to my body or would I trust in God’s plan for me and allow myself to be humble enough to accept His will for my life?

I don’t remember at what point it was in my journey that I read Alma 2:30.  But it struck me with great force and I wrote these words beneath it…”My Cancer Prayer.”  I begged Heavenly Father to let me live.  I exercised every particle of faith I could muster and promised God that if he would spare my life, that I would be an instrument in His hands forevermore.  I would spend the rest of my life testifying of Christ.  For now, it is God’s will that I am still here.  I don’t know why He has allowed me to stay here with my family when so many other good and valiant people have been called home.  I do know that God’s plan for each of us is perfect.  He does not make mistakes.  I also know that in the moments of our greatest despair, God is there.  Our Savior is there.  Turn to them.  Humble yourself.  Trust in God’s plan for you.  But please, never leave them behind.

Desirae Ogden

I grew up the oldest of 5 children in the blazing heat of Southern Utah. After high school and some college experience I met and married Mark Ogden and we are the parents of four children. I have owned and operated my own home-based preschool for more than a dozen years, and I consider myself an accidental author as well. When I am not in my minivan transporting children from one activity to the next, I enjoy playing the piano, blogging, speaking about my life’s experiences, and feeding my insatiable crafting disease.