Book of Mormon: Day 153: Remembering Joy Amidst Pain

Today’s Reading: Alma 36

20 And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!
21 Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand,there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.

Each time I read these verses, I can’t help but reflect on the experience of childbirth. As I anticipated the birth of my first child, pain was a given. I expected that. But the extent of that pain–I had no idea!

I went into the hospital in early labor, hoping to not get an epidural, but unsure if I could handle the pain. I was blown away by the increasing intensity of the contractions, I was caught off guard by back labor, and I was overwhelmed by the length of time I had to endure the pain. I tried to get my mind off of how I felt. I listened to music, I sucked on ice chips and I breathed and breathed and. . .breathed some more. I tried to tell myself: “think of something else or picture being somewhere else, but whatever you do, DON’T focus on the fact that you’re in the greatest pain of your entire life. But I simply could not be distracted from the difficulty of the situation. I continued to endure, but I didn’t endure well. . .I endured miserably!

Thirteen hours never felt so long in all my life. But finally I was given permission to push and within minutes I could hear the first cry of my baby girl!

A baby?! oh yes! A baby! There was a reward waiting for me at the end of this struggle! I had practically forgotten! In all the pain and anguish, I had almost lost sight of what it was all for! The pain was a means to an end! A beautiful end! They quickly cleaned out her nose and throat and placed her warm, slimy body on my chest.

Wow! This was mine? Ours? A combination of me and the love of my life? . . .Wow! She has ten fingers. . .she has ten toes. . .her black eyes peeping at us between screams, indicate that they work. . . her lungs definitely work! How can she be so perfect? I was breathless! I had felt this child squirm inside my stomach for months, but to see and hear. . .and touch her?! My husband and I were just in awe at the miracle before us. We cried. We were so blown away that we didn’t even touch her at first, we just wept with joy. And the joy I felt . . .exceeded my pain! When it came to holding my child for the first time, joy was a given. I expected that. But the extent of that joy–I had no idea!

Remembering blessings during hard times is of course not limited to childbirth. It is an eternal principle! There is so much beauty and joy in life. But if we dwell on what is painful, frustrating, or difficult, the negativity can overwhelm us. If we instead have hope for the future, our mourning can be transformed into faithful anticipation.

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President Uchtdorf has said:

If only we could look beyond the horizon of mortality into what awaits us beyond this life. . . .No matter how bleak the chapter of our lives may look today, because of the life and sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we may hope and be assured that the ending of the book of our lives will exceed our grandest expectations [i]. 

This mortal life can be hard! I am discovering that the struggle is real. There are times of intense pain–physical and emotional. In the midst of my trials, I try to remember that first, Christ has brought so much beauty into my life. And second, that there is much to look forward to. In fact, “eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him [ii].”

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  • Oh how I LOVED this!! So beautiful and the cleverly written. I smiled from ear to ear! Thanks Courtney!