Lessons from My Husband’s Mission

I didn’t know my husband on his mission. I didn’t write him. In fact, I wasn’t LDS for most of my husband’s mission. I got baptized about a week before he came home and met him a month after he’d been back. When we were first dating, I was such a recent convert that mission stories were hard for me to hear. It felt like everyone had one and I didn’t – I was a mission story!

People hinted that I should consider serving, but I never felt called. In the recent Face to Face for YSA’s (which I’m not, but I swear these are such precious opportunities to hear our leaders speak candidly about issues we face today I sometimes even listen to the youth ones), Elder Holland talked about how women or men who do not serve missions are not second class citizens in our church, but that’s how I felt sometimes. Convert problems for sure.

It’s been three years since my baptism and so many things have changed, one of those changes has been how much I’ve grown to love my husband’s mission and learn from his experiences, some of which I’d like to share with you today. This may sound weird, since I didn’t know him then and wasn’t a part of his life at all during his mission, but nevertheless I feel gratitude almost daily for my husband, his service and the people he spent two years with in sunny Texas.

The change started happening when we began to plan an epic road trip from Michigan to McAllen, Texas – right on the Mexican border. A three day drive there and back. I was really nervous, having never been somewhere as different from Michigan as Southern Texas and knowing that Brett’s mission was Spanish speaking – I can barely say a few sentences in Spanish. The trip there was amazing! We got to visit New Orleans, eat barbecue in Memphis, and walk on the beach in Corpus Christi, but the very best part was seeing the same places Brett served and strengthening my testimony of not only missionary work but of the Savior.

Now behold, a marvelous work is about to come forth among the children of men. Therefore, O ye that embark in the service of God, see that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind and strength, that ye may stand blameless before God at the last day – Doctrine and Covenants 4:1-2 

Missions (and life) are about change and improvement – for you and your investigators
I loved meeting the people Brett taught. Being midwestern, I grew up thinking we had the monopoly on friendliness but those border folks have us beat. Every single person,  regardless of whether we made an appointment or not,welcomed us in, fed us, chatted with us and were so incredibly sweet and patient with my lack of ability to speak their language.

Brett sometimes talks about how he focused very intently on obedience (which I love – I cringe when I hear people bash people they served with or leadership on their missions!), but it wasn’t until he had a companion who almost seemed too social with the members and investigators that he learned balancing being by the book and teaching in a way that was relatable to the people you’re serving was even more powerful to them. The border is a really unique place – people often speak a sort of “Tex-Mex” blend of Spanish and English, move around frequently in some cases, and are more laid back then we Northerners are. I know that Brett’s effort to relate to the people he taught helped him to forge friendships that have gone on well past the end of his mission and have been a blessing in our lives.

Conversion isn’t the only outcome
One of the special things I noticed was that even investigators who didn’t choose to be baptized or had become less active were still eager they were to see their former missionary. While baptism is incredibly important – leaving people with good feelings about the Church has incredible potential to plant the seeds of faith in their life, even if they aren’t ready or fully committed to joining the Church now. That’s so important for member missionary work, as well. Yes, converting all my friends would be wonderful, but I’m also happy to know that when there is negative news dominating their social media platforms I have something positive to share with them, whether or not they are interested in the gospel.

If we earnestly appeal to God, He takes us as we are—and makes us more than we ever imagined – Neill F. Marriott

The spirit speaks when you can’t
The testimonies and stories of faith in McAllen are honestly unreal. McAllen and the surrounding areas are rife with contrast between extremely wealthy people and individuals trying to survive, often leaving countries where they faced terror and abuse. One of Brett’s mission companions was converted to the gospel when living with his sister in Texas, while his parents remained in Mexico. Through his example, they eventually sought to be baptized and are now temple workers at their home temple in Mexico. They were so eager to ask me to share my testimony and I loved hearing theirs. That was probably one of the most spiritual experiences I’ve ever had, and I didn’t even understand every word. The feeling alone that comes from being near people with an incredibly deep faith is pretty close to magic, in my book.

No effort is in vain
When Brett was serving in McAllen, it had the reputation of being a high baptizing mission. While he was obedient and worked diligently, in his first six months he baptized three people. Instead of getting discouraged, Brett’s companions encouraged him to set more goals. He eventually became a leader in his mission and baptized 10 times that initial number before his mission was over. Of course, it’s not about the numbers, but I know that Heavenly Father always is mindful of our obedience to Him and our love for Him and provides us with opportunities that we prepare ourselves for.

Simple, consistent, good habits lead to a life full of bountiful blessings…Stay on the Lord’s side, and you will win every time – Elder Richard G. Scott

God’s plan is always greater than ours
Brett was initially called to serve in Monterrey, Mexico. For whatever reason, his visa was taking longer than usual, so out of the Provo MTC (Missionary Training Center), he served briefly in St. George, Utah before being called back to Provo to receive his visa. Only to get there and learn there had been a mistake – his visa had actually been denied.

He was reassigned to McAllen and flew there right away. It would be really easy to get frustrated and angry about something like that. I’m sure I would have been terribly upset and flustered by all the change and uncertainty. However, Heavenly Father had an amazing plan for Brett, his future companions and the people he would meet. So many sweet blessings came from the opportunity Brett had to serve in McAllen – he successfully taught many people and we’ve had the ability to keep in touch with them easily via texting and social media and visiting which we may not have been able to otherwise.

The choices you make here and now are forever important – President Thomas S. Monson

On October 28, 2012, Brett baptized his final convert on his mission. A woman who had learned her daughter was a member of the Church, arrived from Mexico for a visit and called the missionaries to ask to be taught. I was baptized that very same day, just in chilly Detroit in English, after calling the missionaries and asking to learn (for real this time) about the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I hope we can serve a senior mission together one day, but even if that opportunity doesn’t avail itself – I am grateful for what I’ve learned from Brett’s example in Southern Texas. I know that Brett’s diligence long before I was baptized prepared us for marriage in the Temple. While I’ve had more blessings than I can count, the promise of eternity with my husband is my greatest and most treasured one. I know I have some sweet people on the border to thank for their willingness to invite a boy on a bike from the Mitten state into their homes and letting the Savior into their hearts.

[Wedding Pictures by Erica Loewenguth]