Today’s Reading: 2 Nephi 8:15-9:7
7 Wherefore, it must needs be an infinite atonement—save it should be an infinite atonement this corruption could not put on incorruption. Wherefore, the first judgment which came upon man must needs have remained to an endless duration.
We were just about to head out the door to go visiting teaching when my nearly 2-year-old daughter threw a tantrum. I tried to solve her problem, but to no avail. So in the tension of the moment, mixed with my anxiety of being late. . .I yelled (actually screamed) at her. Her eyes widened–she was terrified. She shrieked while simultaneously running toward me, hugging my legs to her chest. She was frightened by the very same person whom she relied on for comfort! I knelt down, hugged her, cried, and apologized. I picked her up in my arms and we silently and somberly plodded to the appointment. After arriving, I checked my phone to find that my companion wasn’t coming. It was her turn to teach the lesson. After chatting for a while, I scrambled to find the lesson on my phone. I read:
Among the most significant of Jesus Christ’s descriptive titles is Redeemer. . .Redeem means to pay off an obligation or a debt. Redeem can also mean to rescue or set free as by paying a ransom [i].
I reflected on this as I read. Christ has set me free. From what? . . .From myself! From a crushing debt that I have incurred. Repent as I might, I can never be on higher ground without His help; and because of Christ’s sacrifice, the currency of repentance has value.
I got through reading and reflecting, then explained to the sister that this quote reminded me of a scripture:
Wherefore, it must needs be an infinite atonement—save it should be an infinite atonement this corruption could not put on incorruption. Wherefore, the first judgment which came upon man must needs have remained to an endless duration. (2 Nephi 9:7).
The Spirit taught me as I spoke: I was painfully imperfect in just the area that I most wanted to be perfect–motherhood. I realized without Christ, my identity as a “bad mom” would be permanent. He gave me His infinite atonement so that I could be free from the corruptible mother I was that morning and instead put on incorruption; I could move forward with the hope of repentance!
Well, that was it! That started the waterworks. I don’t mean just a tender little tear or two. I mean, I was pretty well bawling my eyes out–ugly, twisted-face kind of crying. Oh how I need His atonement!
That was a day that I will always remember but I stand in awe that Christ will forget! I don’t want to be the mom that lashes out at her children or causes them fear or heartache. I still fall short as a mom every day, sometimes even by yelling. However, I learned that day in a deeper way how he mercifully paid the debt I owe so that I don’t always have to be “a bad mommy.” I can just have “bad mommy moments” that Christ will let me leave behind.