As a mother I am so grateful for the Saviour’s atonement and the knowledge I have that I can repent and start again not just each day but each second. It is something that I have to do often (more often than I would like), particularly as my son moves into the ‘terrible twos’. I have always understood that as a parent I need to repent and call upon the atonement when I fall short of being the parent I am trying to be but there was something I was completely missing.
After a few really hard days (tantrums, sickness and lack of sleep) I broke down to my husband on the way to the temple. I can’t do it I said, it requires too much of me. I felt like I was trying my best but my best wasn’t even close to being good enough. I wanted so much more patience with my children, to be able to show them the love that I had for them even in the more challenging moments but it felt completely beyond my capabilities. My dear husband consoled me, and then he taught me.
I’m not expected to change on my own. Elder Bednar said ‘we mistakenly believe we must make the journey from good to better and become a saint all by ourselves through sheer grit, willpower, and discipline, and with our obviously limited capacities’. However this is not the case!
We are taught to have faith unto repentance and repentance isn’t just acknowledging and apologising for wrongdoing. It is completely turning away from sin and turning back towards God. I needed to have greater faith in enabling power of the atonement which would provide me with the strength to over come my weaknesses and become more like my Saviour. However to be able to access this power I need to rely on the Lord, calling upon him not just daily but hourly. As I have humbled myself and recognised that this is not something I can do on my own I have felt the grace of God help me over come my limited capabilities.
It’s still a daily struggle to remember to rely on the Lord and not everyday is perfectly easy but my ability to show greater love and patience has increased, which has brought far greater peace and happiness to not just me but my whole family. I know I am not perfect and I never will be in this life, but as I rely on the Lord I can gain access to the strength needed to become a little more like my Saviour each day and overcome the weaknesses that overwhelm me on my own.
I am a wife and mother of two gorgeous boys. I love to bake and eat all things delicious. As a family we vlog daily to try and share gospel principals in action at www.youtube.com/thewilkyways
This is so beautifully written and such a good reminder! I too struggle to get better each day as a mama of two and relying on my Savior is quite literally my only saving grace;) Thanks for this very uplifting message!
Amen! I also constantly struggle with patience!