Patience is a Divine Virtue

Patience. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

As a Type A woman who struggles with anxiety, patience has never come easily for me. And yet, I have been a teacher, and now am a mom! Those are both duties that require huge loads of patience. I already have a ton of regrets in how I’ve acted not only towards my students and toddler, but also every one in general. It is one of my biggest vices, especially because having patience bleeds into other virtues!

Growing up, my family had a scripture motto from D&C 4:6

Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence.

We were expected to memorize this scripture and try to live up to those virtues. The main reason my dad chose that scripture as our motto is because we, kids, had issues with a few of them: temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, and humility. We fought often, indulged ourselves in candy and media, were very impatient and hot-headed. But, that scripture has always stuck with me–as I was typing it out, I still remember most of it word by word. Apparently, it has made a mark on me. Heavenly Father was smart to group all of these virtues together because they all influence and affect each other. In the October 2006 General Conference, Elder Oaks said, “Patience may well be thought of as a gateway virtue, contributing to the growth and strength of its fellow virtues of forgiveness, tolerance, and faith.” There are so many godly traits we are missing out on when we don’t have patience.

On my own personal blog, I have reflected on my trials with patience often–it is always in the forefront of my mind. I get impatient at slow drivers, at traffic lights, at waiting in lines, even for food to cook! I get impatient with talkative students, students who take a long time to get initiated, students who aren’t responsible. I get impatient with my husband when he doesn’t immediately respond to me or does something in a way that is different than I would do. I get impatient with my 17 month old son when he won’t say something, respond, obey, eat, or sleep when I want him to. This isn’t fair to these people affected. It’s not fair to myself. And it’s not fair to Heavenly Father. In President Uchtdorf’s talk, “Continue in Patience,” from the April 2010 Priesthood Session, he says

Impatience, on the other hand, is a symptom of selfishness. It is a trait of the self-absorbed. It arises from the all-too-prevalent condition called “center of the universe” syndrome, which leads people to believe that the world revolves around them and that all others are just supporting cast in the grand theater of mortality in which only they have the starring role.

I always feel bad after exhibiting impatience. And for good reason–it is part of being a natural man. It’s not godly. It’s not divine. However, we need to develop this godly trait. I need to continue to develop this godly trait.  President Uchtdorf continues

Patience is a process of perfection. The Savior Himself said that in your patience you possess your souls.  Or, to use another translation of the Greek text, in your patience you win mastery of your souls. Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most. This was true in the time of the Savior. It is true in our time as well, for we are commanded in these latter days to “continue in patience until ye are perfected.”

Developing patience is not an overnight thing. It is constantly on my goal list, list of resolution, in my journal, so on and so forth. The past year and a half, especially, I have tried to make a conscious effort to focus more on developing patience. In the beginning of this year, I read One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. She was focusing on the concept of grace and trying to incorporate it in her life, giving grace to others as she receives grace. She had a gaggle of rowdy children and would often lose her patience with them. But, then one day, she decided to thank God for every trial she had with her children and she started to become more patient with them. I decided to try that same concept. Instead of praying for students’ hearts to soften, or for my son to eat when he was supposed to so he could grow, etc, I started praying for Heavenly Father to bless me with patience. Then, when something would come up and I could feel my teeth beginning to grind and my blood starting to boil from impatience, I would try to find a positive (“thank you for having Rhys discover his individuality and agency” was the most common thing I thought). I would also, like they suggest in the PBS Kids show Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, “take a deep breath and count to four.” I would quickly close my eyes, take a deep breath, hold it is for a while, and squeeze myself. Typically, that helps.

It isn’t a perfect system, and I still lose my temper quite a bit. I still get agitated with slow drivers. I still find myself often tapping my foot in impatience. But, that is the amazing thing about the Atonement. Every day is a new day. We can try again to be patient when we have failed the previous day. Every day is a new day to make this weakness become a strength. I am no wear close to being a perfectly patient person, but I am enduring and being anxiously engaged with trying to develop this divine attribute. And, I can attest to you that when I am successful in being patient, I am much more happy. I can feel the spirit more, I am more content, and I feel more love pouring from me. Pray for patience. Actively practice it. Try and try again. That is all Heavenly Father asks of you.

Tayler Morrell

I am an English and history teacher turned stay-at-home mom to Rhys, the rambunctious toddler. I was blessed to marry my college best friend. I am obsessed with all things medieval, Welsh, historical, and fantasy. I love to read, write, cook, run, and learn. I have recently come to love and appreciate living in the center of Utah and close to both sides of our family.